The Concept: Proving I have a sense of humor, even when it comes to Jane Austen. (I’m also giving the anagram server a vacation.)
The Book: Pride and Prejudice
The Author Whose Disdain I Deserve: Let me think...
Original Plot Summary: Early 19th century England. Mr. Bennet is a respectable country gentleman with a decent estate, a nagging wife, and five daughters he has to marry off, because they can’t inherit said decent estate (what with the times being sexist and all). Jane is the eldest daughter – an angelic beauty. Elizabeth, our heroine, is second in birth and beauty, but she’s witty and vivacious. Next is Mary, the solemn, plain sister. Kitty is cute, but basically a groupie of her younger sister Lydia, who is wild, vulgar and an incorrigible flirt. Enter two handsome rich strangers to the neighborhood: Mr. Bingley the adorable, and Mr. Darcy, the proud and aloof. Bingley is also accompanied by two snobby sisters – Louisa, the married, and Caroline, the unmarried, who spends her considerable leisure time throwing herself at Mr. Darcy. He, in the meantime, despite being far above her in terms of social rank and fortune, starts to fall for Elizabeth. She can’t stand him and much prefers the company of the dashing Mr. Wickham, who wastes no time in disparaging Darcy (once he’s out of the county). Bingley and Jane fall for each other. Jane isn’t what you’d call demonstrative, so Darcy whisks Bingley away before he can propose to this supposed husband-hunter. The Bennets don’t take this very well – especially Elizabeth. Several chapters later, Darcy proposes to Elizabeth against his better judgment and all common sense since she’s not exactly secretive about her dislike for him. They have words: she calls him a meddling snob. He calls her a prejudiced fool. A letter of explanation later and Elizabeth finds out Wickham is a womanizer, liar, fortune-hunter, and all-around jerk, while Darcy turns out to be the good guy. Time passes. Feelings change. Darcy and Elizabeth meet, but now Lydia picks the time to run off with Wickham, so the romance gets postponed. A few chapters of inner turmoil and uncertainty later, Darcy fixes everything. Bingley proposes to Jane. Darcy proposes to Elizabeth and all ends well.
New Title: Pride! And Prejudice!
Genre: Musical
New Plot Summary: America, 1910s. More or less the same plot, except the Bennets are circus performers with a family trapeze act, “The Brilliant Bennets.” Bingley, Darcy, etc., are from New York high society.
Cinematography Suggestions: Splashy Technicolor like the musicals of the 1950s.
Sample Scenes:
[Jane and Elizabeth are discussing Bingley and Darcy after seeing them for the first time.]
“What kind of a name is Fitzwilliam Darcy, anyway? You’d think he’d just gotten off the deck of the Mayflower.”
[Darcy has just proposed to Elizabeth for the first time]
“I’d rather marry a dancing bear. He’d be more of a gentleman than you are!”
[Darcy proposes for the second time; a tasteful kissing scene ensues]
“Are you sure you wouldn’t rather marry a dancing bear?”
“Ugh. Don’t remind me of what I said then.”
“Why not? I deserved it.”
“Well, maybe. But not from me. Not like that.”
“I’d rather be humbled by you than anybody else.”
“Mr. Darcy!”
[more tasteful kissing ensues]
Obviously, it will also be packed with thrilling musical numbers, such as...
Catching a Man is a Circus Act – Mrs. Bennet to the girls
Can You Love a Girl on a Flying Trapeze? – Bingley
Commend Me to the Local Gentry – duet, Caroline and Louisa
You’re No Gentleman, Mr. Darcy – Elizabeth
“You’re no gentleman, Mr. Darcy
You’re a bully and a louse!
You must be stone cold crazy
If you think I’ll be your spouse”
Wickham is a Phony! (A Seller of Bologna!) – Darcy
Pride Comes Before a Fall – duet, Elizabeth and Darcy
“Pride comes before a fall
It’s really quite a tumble
But when love conquers all
You’ll never ever stumble”
Special Notes: I can’t believe I just did that.
The Book: Pride and Prejudice
The Author Whose Disdain I Deserve: Let me think...
Original Plot Summary: Early 19th century England. Mr. Bennet is a respectable country gentleman with a decent estate, a nagging wife, and five daughters he has to marry off, because they can’t inherit said decent estate (what with the times being sexist and all). Jane is the eldest daughter – an angelic beauty. Elizabeth, our heroine, is second in birth and beauty, but she’s witty and vivacious. Next is Mary, the solemn, plain sister. Kitty is cute, but basically a groupie of her younger sister Lydia, who is wild, vulgar and an incorrigible flirt. Enter two handsome rich strangers to the neighborhood: Mr. Bingley the adorable, and Mr. Darcy, the proud and aloof. Bingley is also accompanied by two snobby sisters – Louisa, the married, and Caroline, the unmarried, who spends her considerable leisure time throwing herself at Mr. Darcy. He, in the meantime, despite being far above her in terms of social rank and fortune, starts to fall for Elizabeth. She can’t stand him and much prefers the company of the dashing Mr. Wickham, who wastes no time in disparaging Darcy (once he’s out of the county). Bingley and Jane fall for each other. Jane isn’t what you’d call demonstrative, so Darcy whisks Bingley away before he can propose to this supposed husband-hunter. The Bennets don’t take this very well – especially Elizabeth. Several chapters later, Darcy proposes to Elizabeth against his better judgment and all common sense since she’s not exactly secretive about her dislike for him. They have words: she calls him a meddling snob. He calls her a prejudiced fool. A letter of explanation later and Elizabeth finds out Wickham is a womanizer, liar, fortune-hunter, and all-around jerk, while Darcy turns out to be the good guy. Time passes. Feelings change. Darcy and Elizabeth meet, but now Lydia picks the time to run off with Wickham, so the romance gets postponed. A few chapters of inner turmoil and uncertainty later, Darcy fixes everything. Bingley proposes to Jane. Darcy proposes to Elizabeth and all ends well.
New Title: Pride! And Prejudice!
Genre: Musical
New Plot Summary: America, 1910s. More or less the same plot, except the Bennets are circus performers with a family trapeze act, “The Brilliant Bennets.” Bingley, Darcy, etc., are from New York high society.
Cinematography Suggestions: Splashy Technicolor like the musicals of the 1950s.
Sample Scenes:
[Jane and Elizabeth are discussing Bingley and Darcy after seeing them for the first time.]
“What kind of a name is Fitzwilliam Darcy, anyway? You’d think he’d just gotten off the deck of the Mayflower.”
[Darcy has just proposed to Elizabeth for the first time]
“I’d rather marry a dancing bear. He’d be more of a gentleman than you are!”
[Darcy proposes for the second time; a tasteful kissing scene ensues]
“Are you sure you wouldn’t rather marry a dancing bear?”
“Ugh. Don’t remind me of what I said then.”
“Why not? I deserved it.”
“Well, maybe. But not from me. Not like that.”
“I’d rather be humbled by you than anybody else.”
“Mr. Darcy!”
[more tasteful kissing ensues]
Obviously, it will also be packed with thrilling musical numbers, such as...
Catching a Man is a Circus Act – Mrs. Bennet to the girls
Can You Love a Girl on a Flying Trapeze? – Bingley
Commend Me to the Local Gentry – duet, Caroline and Louisa
You’re No Gentleman, Mr. Darcy – Elizabeth
“You’re no gentleman, Mr. Darcy
You’re a bully and a louse!
You must be stone cold crazy
If you think I’ll be your spouse”
Wickham is a Phony! (A Seller of Bologna!) – Darcy
Pride Comes Before a Fall – duet, Elizabeth and Darcy
“Pride comes before a fall
It’s really quite a tumble
But when love conquers all
You’ll never ever stumble”
Special Notes: I can’t believe I just did that.
10 comments:
Tee hee!
No, seriously. I'd see that. Especially if it's done like a 1950s musical.
I mean, I don't know if I'd actually go and see that, but I'd rent it. Or at least watch the musical numbers on YouTube.
And casting? Presumably Keira Knightley doesn't get another go in the role? Shame. Seeing that it's a musical, you might make a pitch to get Madonna as Mrs Bennet ...
No, on second thoughts, I think you'll have to sort out the casting too, Stella.
Hila - wanna be choreographer? ;)
Paul - do you juggle or something? I could probably get you a walk-on or a cameo.
Love the duet "Commend me to the local Gentry" = ) I personally feel the Banjo has been ignored when it comes to musicals, and would like to see it introduced, to add a little flavor. Greta post, I'd take people to see it as a better introduction to Jane Austen's work = )
For a well-cast Elizabeth Bennet, I'd learn to juggle!
BT - check, banjo. Thanks!
Paul - I probably won't have any say in casting the parts (I'm just the writer...). Learn to juggle anyway :)
Well done, Gov. Though I detest the circus, I would go see that (or at least read that). You should seriously think of persuing your line of thought here (but then again, I always tell you that).
ALina - thank you, Gov. I suppose I could write the lyrics, but I don't know if I could actually go through with it ;) Especially since I'm planning that faithful-adaptation-to-end-all-adaptations.
such an adaptation would be totally hilarious!! nice post.enjoyed reading it:-)
NW - thanks! If you'd like to do any juggling, fire-eating, dagger throwing, please sign up! We are now seeing all applicants :)
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