Monday, August 25, 2014

To answer your numerous questions...

Yes, I've seen Guardians of the Galaxy. And yes, it was strange and awesome and hilarious. Yes, I've seen Peter Capaldi as the Doctor. And yes, he was strange and awesome and hilarious. No, I haven't written that Buffy haiku marathon yet. Or that Lego Movie one. No, I'm still not better at multi-tasking.

Yes, I finished reading The Fault in Our Stars for the second time and yes I got choked up all over again. Which might be why I can't seem to bring myself to watch the movie. Also, I'm annoyed at how so many people keep saying it's a tearjerker, implying that there's something cynical and calculated about it. Despite what the rivers and and oceans of fangirls' tears might suggest, the book isn't engineered to make you sob like a child. Hazel and Augustus aren't just characters dying of cancer so we can all have a good cry over how tragic dying of cancer is.

In other book-related news, I'm about halfway through Donna Tartt's The Secret History and can't decide whether I love it or hate it. Which isn't necessarily a bad thing. Sometimes you can only begin to appreciate a book once you've finished it.

Wednesday, July 30, 2014

Cue rolling tumbleweed...

In case you were wondering but were too polite to ask, I've been trying to write a haiku for The Lego Movie but it's so meta that my brain cells are dangerously close to short-circuiting. Yet I shall persevere because if I can fit the Doctor in a seventeen syllabled structure, then I can fit The Lego Movie, metaness notwithstanding.

Bookwise, I'm reading The Fault in Our Stars for the second time so that I can nitpick the new film with optimal precision. Pedantic and judgmental I may be, but fair-minded I am as well. Blogwise, I've written only about thirteen posts this year, which is sad considering the average was somewhere between fifty and even triple that. Workwise, I'm currently grappling with the synopsis for a new script, and despite what the presence of my double-X chromosomes implies, I do not excel at multitasking. Admittedly though, blogging has never been my forte. Which is really a diplomatic way of saying I suck at it.

Which brings us to the Zen thought for the day: if I acknowledge the elephant in the room, does it disappear entirely or become fully visible? Psycho-socio-cultural thought for the day: do we all need to acknowledge the elephant in the room for it to become visible? Ontological-existential thought for the day: if the elephant is in the room but remains unacknowledged, does it exist in alternate space within our reality? Semantic-linguistic thought for the day: is that a space within a space or a sub-space?

Sunday, June 22, 2014

Franz Ferdinand, a Question of Location

groovy on dance floor
catalyst in history books
unwieldy right here

Sunday, May 25, 2014

Life After One of Your Favorite Shows Is Axed

So. I've been drowning the sorrows of my Community-less existence in the adorableness of Castle and Nathan Fillion. A haiku (or two or three) are sure to follow if I can write something worthy of his meta-ness. More on that anon.

I also realized that I hardly ever write about what I'm reading, which is peculiar since I do read and yet maybe not so peculiar since I hardly post, but the point is that I recently finished Will Grayson, Will Grayson by John Green and David Levithan and the following things have occurred to me:

- That was a run-on sentence but I have no intention of fixing it. So there.
- The book was possibly even better than Paper Towns, which makes the Green oeuvre rank thusly: 1. The Fault in Our Stars. 2. Will Grayson 3. Paper Towns. 4. Looking for Alaska. 5. An Abundance of Katherines.
- I have to add Levithan's oeuvre to my reading list as I had been unacquainted with him until now.
- I must be in a better frame of mind if I'm using the words "thusly" and "oeuvre."
- I may possibly read The Fault in Our Stars again since the movie is coming out. Although, it might actually be better to read the book again after I've seen the film so I can nitpick with greater accuracy.
- Sam Merlotte (actually Sam Trammell) is in the movie which is nifty on several socio-cultural-academic levels.
- That reminds me: the new season of True Blood is less than a month away. And since it's the final season, I'm worried some of my favorite vampires are going to meet the true death. Or that someone will turn Sookie. Or pretty much anyone else on the show could die. Even Lafayette. Someone please tell the writers that Lafayette is too fabulous to die. Please. Have mercy.
- It's strange that I don't want to see Sookie turned because on The Vampire Diaries I was all for Elena getting turned. As for season six, it looks like they're giving all the vampires a reboot but I will say nothing else because spoilers.

Where was I? Oh right.

Castle, a Question of Location
great at a crime scene
pure evil on the hellmouth
damn shiny in space

Saturday, May 10, 2014

Frozen, a Duet

Due to an unforeseen technical difficulty, I can't arrange these side by side, so just imagine them being sung simultaneously. Or not at all because I'm nice like that and am not tyrannical about my artistic vision.

I'm the extrovert
hey wanna build a snowman?
we can sing it out

I'm the introvert
hey wanna leave me alone?
I can sing it out

We could go on with the singing, but Community got cancelled so that shattering sound you're hearing is my heart fragmenting into tiny tiny pieces. This is sad for a number of reasons, but at the absolute top of the list is that it looked like Jeff was finally (finally!) going to go for it with Annie and now we'll never get to see it. I would love to somehow numb the pain with The Vampire Diaries or Agents of SHIELD but I'm all out of episodes. Fortunately there are new Doctor Who episodes. Oh wait. There aren't. I think I will go sit in the corner and cry now.

Very thin (almost invisible) silver lining? There's nothing Pinterest and Tumblr can spoil for me now. It's like the entire internet is a spoiler-free zone.

Wednesday, April 16, 2014

The Vampire Diaries

dear sweet diary
I have met the perfect man
oops he's a vampire

Sorry. I think I was channeling Damon. Also, I may be developing a slight vampire problem. Fortunately Bella and Edward leave me cold. Indirectly-related-note: The next best thing to getting hooked on a new show is getting a friend hooked on it.

Monday, April 7, 2014

Grand Budapest Hotel

a layered story
heartbreak humor love and death
coated with icing

Tuesday, March 11, 2014

Extra Special True Blood Marathon

with love, for R.F., who threatened to make faces until I watched the show

fairy telepath
strengths: big heart and lots of sass
weakness: taste in men

southern gentleman
tragically untrustworthy
romantic liar

Viking warrior
practical vicious loyal
damn hilarious

queen of sarcasm
beautiful hard dangerous
a perfect iceberg

pure fabulousness
don't y'all be jealous hookahs
I is what I is

Wednesday, February 19, 2014

The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug

here be a dragon
holy mounds of gold, Bilbo!
why not use Precious?

Some other Desolation-of-Smaug-related thoughts:

- I'd actually forgotten how totally bitchin' Legolas is.
- It's odd that the plan to get the Arkenstone pretty much consists of get to mountain, find Arkenstone. But if I've learned anything from heist movies, it's keep it simple.
- Stephen Fry. STEPHEN FRY.
- I have several puns on the subject of Hobbitson disturbing Smauglock in his mind palace but I've decided I'm above all that.

Sunday, February 2, 2014

The next movie in the Marvel franchise will be about Black Widow!

Ha ha. Not really.

Sorry about that. Occasionally my sense of humor is cruel.

Over at BuzzFeed, they pose a compelling gif-illustrated argument for Marvel to get the hell with the program already and put Black Widow: No More Red in the Ledger* into production. If this movie ever happens, I will go out and buy a lottery ticket, then wait patiently to collect my multi-million-dollar cash prize.

*Alternative titles: The Red Avenger, Return to Budapest, Women Can Be Credible Superheroes Too (We Think)The Spider and the Hawk. Not too sure about "The Red Avenger." It might cause confusion.

Saturday, January 25, 2014


mad man with blue box
bow ties will always be cool
now come along Pond

Friday, January 24, 2014

The Wolf of Wall Street

alternate title
Everything That Is Wrong with

While it's not much fun watching a remorseless criminal live a debauched unethical existence for three whole hours, I must say that Leonardo Dicaprio could probably convince you to take out a loan in order to pay him to take your own kidney. Possibly both of them. But I always say that whenever I see someone persuade hundreds of people into becoming a hoard of bloodthirsty animals.

Thursday, January 23, 2014

Still no Eleven

Some random thoughts while Eleven's haiku continues to elude me:

- The brilliance of Sherlock series 3 almost makes up for how bad the Doctor's Christmas special was. Almost.

- Everybody goes on an on about all the characters Steven Moffat kills but I don't think any of it is as bad as Russell T. Davies taking away Donna Noble's memories and basically hitting the reset button on her entire personality's development. On a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being the most evil, that's about an 11. Sorry, Russell T., but you have to admit it's true.

- Also, many people seem to dislike the episode Dinosaurs on a Spaceship which was actually a great episode. It had dinosaurs. On a spaceship. And Lestrade. And David Bradley. Who then turns up as William Hartnell in An Adventure in Space and Time. Which made me cry. Which is apparently Mark Gatiss's mission in life. Although to be fair, I think he wants to make everyone cry and not just me. No wonder he and Moffat work so well together.

Now back to weeping into my tea and Jammie Dodgers. Which are supposed to be capitalized since they're a proper name. But it's odd because I don't think I've ever capitalized Oreo.

Sunday, January 12, 2014

Eleven Twelve and Counting

Just so you know, I'm actually working on a haiku for the Eleventh Doctor but all of the relevant phrases are even-syllabled, except for "fez."

bow ties are cool
spacey wacey
jammie dodgers

There's always fish fingers and custard, but banana daiquiri didn't make the cut for Ten, so that seems a little unfair. Also, I can't decide whether or not it's comforting that this post probably reads like bizarre rambling or an odd grocery list.